Megan Devine: Redefining Grief Support

Megan Devine is a psychotherapist, author, and grief advocate who has dedicated her career to helping people navigate loss and trauma. Her work challenges conventional approaches to grief support by validating the real pain of grief and offering practical support that honors people’s experiences rather than trying to “fix” them.

Personal Journey with Grief

Megan’s approach to grief work is deeply informed by her own experience of loss. Her husband drowned in 2013 while they were on vacation together, a tragedy that completely transformed her understanding of grief and loss. This personal experience led her to question many of the conventional approaches to grief counseling she had learned in her professional training.

After her husband’s death, Megan found that much of what she was told about grief—both professionally and by well-meaning friends—felt invalidating and unhelpful. This experience became the foundation for her work in redefining how we understand and support those who are grieving.

Professional Background

Megan holds a Master of Arts in Clinical Psychology from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. Before her husband’s death, she worked as a psychotherapist and had a private practice. Her professional training, combined with her personal experience, gives her a unique perspective on grief and trauma.

Founding Refuge in Grief

In the years following her husband’s death, Megan created Refuge in Grief, an online community and resource hub for people experiencing grief. This platform offers:

• Educational resources about grief and trauma
• Supportive community for those who are grieving
• Tools for friends and family members who want to help
• Professional development resources for therapists and counselors

Refuge in Grief has become a leading resource for grief support, helping thousands of people navigate their experiences with loss.

Writing and Speaking Career

It’s OK That You’re Not OK

Megan’s book “It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand” became a New York Times bestseller and established her as a leading voice in grief advocacy. The book challenges the cultural narrative that grief should be “fixed” or “moved through” quickly, instead validating that grief is a natural and necessary response to loss.

Speaking Engagements

Megan is a sought-after speaker at conferences, universities, and organizations focused on mental health and grief support. Her presentations are known for their honesty, empathy, and practical insights. She speaks to:

• Mental health professionals seeking better approaches to grief counseling
• Organizations that support people through loss
• Community groups and educational institutions
• Bereaved individuals and their families

Approach to Grief Support

Megan’s approach to grief support is characterized by several key principles:

Validation Over “Fixing”

Rather than trying to help people “get over” their grief, Megan emphasizes validating their experiences and emotions. She believes that grief is not a problem to be solved but a natural response to loss that needs to be honored and supported.

Challenging Cultural Myths

Megan actively challenges common cultural myths about grief, including:

• The idea that grief should follow a predictable timeline
• The notion that people should “move on” from their losses
• The belief that grief is somehow “abnormal” or “unhealthy”
• The pressure to “find meaning” in loss quickly

Practical Support

Her work focuses on offering practical support that is genuinely helpful to those who are grieving:

• How to be present with someone who is grieving
• What to say (and what not to say) to someone who is experiencing loss
• Ways to create supportive environments for grief
• Resources for ongoing support

Key Themes in Her Work

The Reality of Grief

Megan emphasizes that grief is a normal and natural response to loss. She challenges the idea that grief is somehow a sign of weakness or a problem that needs to be fixed.

The Importance of Community

Her work highlights the importance of community support for those who are grieving. She emphasizes that grief is not something people should face alone, and that communities have a responsibility to support their members through loss.

The Role of Professionals

Megan’s work has influenced how mental health professionals approach grief counseling, encouraging them to focus on validation and support rather than “fixing” their clients.

Language Matters

She emphasizes the importance of language in grief support, encouraging people to use phrases that validate rather than minimize grief experiences.

Educational Resources

Megan has created several educational resources that have become widely used in grief support:

“How to Help a Grieving Friend” Card Series

One of her most popular resources is a series of cards that offer practical advice for supporting friends who are grieving. These cards provide specific, actionable suggestions that are genuinely helpful.

Online Courses and Workshops

Megan offers online courses and workshops for both professionals and the general public, covering topics such as:

• Understanding grief and trauma
• Supporting friends and family members who are grieving
• Creating grief-supportive communities
• Professional development for therapists

Advocacy Work

Megan’s advocacy work focuses on changing how society understands and supports grief:

Challenging Institutional Responses

She critiques how institutions (healthcare, workplace, schools) often fail to adequately support people experiencing loss.

Promoting Grief-Literate Communities

Her work encourages communities to become more “grief-literate,” better able to support members through loss.

Supporting Professional Development

Megan works to educate mental health professionals about better approaches to grief counseling.

Continuing Work

Megan continues to write, speak, and create resources for grief support. Her ongoing work reflects her commitment to making grief support more effective and compassionate.

Current Projects

She continues to develop new resources and educational materials, and regularly updates her approach based on feedback from the grief community she has built.

Research and Collaboration

Megan collaborates with researchers and other professionals to advance understanding of grief and trauma.

Impact and Recognition

Megan’s work has had a significant impact on how people understand and support grief:

Community Building

Through Refuge in Grief, she has built one of the largest online communities for grief support.

Professional Influence

Her approach has influenced how many mental health professionals work with grief and trauma.

Public Awareness

Her speaking and writing have increased public awareness of better approaches to grief support.

Personal Philosophy

Megan’s work is guided by a belief that grief is a natural and necessary response to loss, and that our culture’s approach to grief often does more harm than good. She emphasizes that:

• Grief is not a problem to be solved but a reality to be supported
• People who are grieving deserve validation and understanding, not pressure to “move on”
• Communities have a responsibility to support their members through loss
• Professional support should focus on陪伴 rather than “fixing”

Future Directions

Megan continues to explore new ways to support those experiencing grief and trauma. Her future work focuses on:

• Expanding access to grief support resources
• Continuing to educate mental health professionals
• Advocating for policy changes that better support people through loss
• Building more inclusive and accessible grief support communities

Her ongoing work reflects her commitment to making grief support more compassionate, effective, and widely available.